Help Me Fly
by Caliboy
Summary: Takeru reflects upon the night he lost the only thing that he can't live without. That night will haunt him forever. slight yaoi. death/suicide fic


**CB: Hey everyone, as promised, i started working on a new piece when i finished "If I Could Hear The End" and here it is. It is a lot darker than my other fics and was really hard for me to write. The story is actually kinda close to my heart.  
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**Anyways, i hope you guys like this. Let me know what you think.**

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><p><strong>Help Me Fly<strong>

Takeru Takaishi glanced outside. It was dark out. The sky was charcoal; there was no moon, just stars. He was laying on his bed, his head resting on his arms, thinking about what had happened in the last few weeks. When his mind found its way to one faint, painful memory, he sat up from the pain that had returned to his heart. The more he remembered, the more pain came back, until it caused Takeru to stand up and exit his bedroom.

It was almost midnight, his mother had been asleep in her own bedroom for a few hours already, seeing as how she worked long hours at the office. She wouldn't notice if he left, and if she did, she probably wouldn't care. She had no idea what kind of things her son was going through.

Takeru was still fully dressed from earlier that day; too lazy to change into his pyjamas. Or maybe he just didn't find a reason to do anything anymore. Two weeks ago, he had been bouncing off the walls from being so busy. Meeting him now, you would have thought the kid had never had any emotion at all. He was nearly dead these days.

Not only his personality changed, but his looks did too. His sky blue eyes were now all foggy and lifeless. His skin became even more pale than usual and he had developed dark, black rings under his eyes from shedding tears and lack of sleep. While he was still tall, he was getting weaker from reducing his participation in sports and exercise.

Frankly, Takeru only left his room to go to the bathroom and go to school. As soon as he finished and had come back home, he would fall back onto his bed and think of what happened and of what he did.

Tonight, however, he had gotten out of bed and left his apartment. He stumbled down the stairs and out of the building. The night air was warm and comforting, but he paid no attention to it at all; it's not like it would help him. His eyes had been glossy all day, but he had never let out a tear. Just as he was going to release one, he found himself back at the scene of the crime.

He was back at Odaiba Elementary

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><p>"<em>Back again?" the most angelic voice ever questioned from the top of the jungle gym.<em>

_Takeru tilted his head up and saw his best friend sitting on top of the monkey bars. A smile appeared on Takeru's face, "If I remember correctly, I called a rematch."_

"_That's only because you lost."_

"_I'm pretty sure I lost because you cheated, Ken."_

"_Oh, shove it, you know I could beat you in any sport."_

"_Ha! ever aspire to become an actor? You'd make a good one, you know." _

_Takeru pulled himself up onto the jungle gym to go sit beside he raven haired best friend, stealing the basketball that was in Ken's lap._

_Finally Ken replied, "Ever dream of being a comedian? You'd make a fool of yourself, you know."_

_Both of them chuckled and leaned against each other. Every night, the two boys would show up to Odaiba Elementary, just to get away from everything else in their lives. Since it was summer vacation, they always met up at midnight when it was quiet, and no one would bother them. Call it a must of friendship. It never really mattered to the boys what they talked about, they just talked. Usually one vented, the other listened. Ken had always been there for Takeru when he had needed someone to talk to; a shoulder to cry on. Takeru had been the same. They had become best friends through the last few months._

"_My mom told me I should stop sneaking out of the house," Takeru announced quietly. "Though it doesn't seem like she really cares what I do."_

"_Maybe you should."_

"_Nah."_

"_Why?"_

"_I like coming here and talking with you. It's better than playing basketball; I don't get smacked onto the floor by everyone else who's playing._

_Ken grinned, "why do you enjoy talking to me rather than any of your other friends?"_

_The blonde teenager trailed his fingers along the seams of the basketball. His mind was trying to scream the truth at Ken, but he answered with a false, "I don't know."_

_Ken looked at his best friend, disappointed, "Come on, truthfully now."_

"_Because," Takeru started, tilting his chin to his chest and staring closely at the ball, "I don't know…I just feel like I can trust you, you know?"_

"_Want to know why I love talking to you so much?" Ken glanced away from the blonde, his feet swinging childishly._

"_Why?"_

"_Because I look at you as my best friend," he paused, "possibly more."_

_Takeru glanced at Ken through the corner of his eye and felt his cheeks burn crimson, "Do you mean what I think you mean?"_

"_If you think what I think I mean, then I think I do mean what you think I mean."_

_There was a moment of silence before both of them started to laugh. When they calmed down a bit, Takeru turned and looked at Ken. To his surprise, Ken was looking back at him._

"_So do you mean that you," Takeru struggled to find the right words, "l-like me, like me? Or did I just throw the ball over the hoop?"_

"_Swish…" Ken replied, almost silently._

_Takeru started to blush again and scratched the back of his neck, "I-I guess I kinda feel the same way about you."_

"_You guess?" Ken echoed, looking away._

_Takeru winced, he hated seeing Ken like this; trying to turn off his emotions so he can't get hurt. "I mean I-"_

"_It's fine, you know," Ken jumped off of the bars and landed on the ground almost silently. "I kind of, y-you know, just… you know."_

_Takeru had never heard Ken stumble to find words before. He watched as Ken turned to walk away. Without thinking, he jumped off of the bars and reached out for Ken's arm. Giving a slight tug, Takeru urged the other boy to turn around and look at him. In his eyes, Takeru could see something that hadn't been there in a long time._

"_Tears?" Takeru asked, mentally smacking himself for doing this to Ken._

"_It's nothing," Ken turned away, tears still fresh in his eyes. "You should listen to your mom from now on and not come here anymore."_

_Again, He turned to leave, But Takeru blocked his path. Another tug form Takeru and Ken was face to face with the blue-eyed boy. This time, before Ken was able to free himself and get away, Takeru closed the gap between the two boys and gently pushed his lips against Ken's for a brief moment._

"_I gotta go," Takeru dropped the basketball and ran from the playground. Ken watched him leave without a word._

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><p>Takeru rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. His friends had told him that he needed to keep moving ahead in his life; to just move on from the events that happened. He was told that he had so much more to live for, that the past was behind him and he couldn't do anything to change it. His heart told him otherwise. It told him that he couldn't move on without thinking of the past; of Ken.<p>

He made his way onto the playground with his hands stuffed in his pockets. Everything was shrouded in black and grey now that his best friend wasn't waiting for him on top of the jungle gym. He pulled himself up to the top of the bars, just like him and Ken always had, and folded his hands in his lap, leaning forward to look down. As he blinked, a single tear slipped from the corner of his eye. Soon after, more followed.

"God Ken," Takeru dropped his face into his hands and began to release more tears, all the pain once again coming back to him from that night. "I'm so sorry, it was all my fault."

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><p>"<em>I didn't think you would be here tonight,"<em> _Takeru said and dug his toe into the ground beneath him. A basketball rolled to his feet and he looked up._

"_We have a rematch to play," Ken said dryly, but not harshly._

_The game started and the two teens never said a word to each other. It was killing Takeru just to be seeing Ken, but not having the courage to say anything hurt even more. Ken was feeling the same way, but only his eyes could show any hint of emotion. When the game was tied, twenty-five to twenty-five, they finally took a break._

"_I thought you would have headed out to that party that was going on tonight," Takeru finally managed to kill the silence._

"_They are only a bunch of drug addicts and drunks who need to get lives," Ken replied. "And a lot of older teenagers are supposed to be there. I don't really want to get mixed up in all that."_

"_Let's end this game now," Takeru leaned over and picked up the ball._

"_We should make a bet of some sort," Ken replied, a smirk crossing his face. "We can make it a little more interesting."_

"_Okay," Takeru started, "not only do you lose, but you owe me…"_

"_A kiss. Payback for last night," Ken smiled._

"…_Fine," Takeru weakly shook Ken's hand and centered himself from the hoop, standing on the three-point line. He raised his arms with the ball in hand, and just as he was about to take his shot, Ken tackled him. The ball bounced away and rolled out of the court and onto the road._

_Takeru blinked wildly and turned to fins Ken sitting on his back, laughing. "Hey, my ball! Get off of me and go get my ball!"_

"_Tch, I swear, all you care about is you and your basketball," he stood up and pulled Takeru to his feet. "You lost."_

"_You cheated."_

"_Oh, there's that acting, maybe you and I should go into the film industry or something."_

"_Ah, shut up," Takeru smirked and dusted himself off._

_Ken started to leave to retrieve the basketball, but just like the night before, Takeru stopped him in his tracks. "What?" Ken blinked and he turned around to face the blonde boy._

"_I lost," Takeru said and, once again, pushed his lips onto Ken's, longer than he had the previous night. When he broke off, he had s light grin on his face. "Now you can go get my ball."_

_Without a reply, Ken ran out onto the street to go get the ball. When he was just feet from the ball, Takeru noticed a car turn sloppily around the corner with no lights on. The car was heading for Ken… His heart jumped to his throat and silenced his words. He was barely able to scream Ken's name. He tried to warn the other boy about the oncoming car. Ken spun around to face Takeru, and then noticed the car. The raven-haired boy froze like deer in headlights, only he was the deer, and there were no lights at all._

_Both boys were able to tell that the driver was drunk, by the way that the car was swerving on the road. Takeru started to run towards Ken, to try and get him out of the way, but the car found him first… _

_Takeru's eyes widened as he saw the basketball fly one way, and his best friend the other. Ken hit the ground hard with a loud thud. He looked like a rag doll; his body was crumpled up, and his limbs were twisted in directions they shouldn't be able to twist. The car sped off down the road, never slowing. It was like it had never hit anything in the first place._

_Takeru stood, frozen on the sidewalk. His mind was barely able to process what was happening. He was staring at Ken's limp, broken body when he saw the boy move slightly. He ran over to his best friend and held his head in his lap._

"_Ken! Oh my god, Ken. Are you alright?" Takeru was frantic. Tears were streaming down his face as he looked upon Ken's face. He had hit his head pretty hard and he was bleeding. A lot. Most of his limbs had been broken, Takeru was sure of that. If he had much of a chance of living, he would never be the same, it would be a painful life._

_Takeru's eyes widened when Ken opened his eyes and deep indigo met sky blue. "Sorry I-I… c-couldn't… get your… ball," Ken started coughing up crimson. It sprayed onto Takeru's shirt. "You… should have… won… I'm sorry."_

"_KEN!" Takeru screamed, trying to keep the raven-haired boy awake. "Come on Ken, stay with me! I'm gonna get you help, just hang in there!"_

_Ken slowly shook his head. "I-It's… too late… T-Takeru…" he was gasping for air, "I… love… you…" Ken slowly closed his eyes and his body went limp. He was gone, and Takeru had lost the best friend he had ever had._

_Takeru was shaking, tears streaming form his eyes and falling upon Ken's lifeless body. Ken's blood now stained Takeru's clothes and the road, and it would never be completely washed away; never forgotten. Takeru's tears turned into sobs. "KKEEENNNN!" he screamed into the silence of the night._

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><p>Takeru swallowed the lump in his throat as tears once again began to burn in his eyes. The image of that night never left him for a second, and the memory would scar him forever. He wished it would all go away. He wanted to forget all about that night. No, he wanted to forget about himself. He wished he could just…disappear. He wished he could be with Ken.<p>

Ken would have told him how to handle this kind of pain. He would have been able to help Takeru through everything, just like he always had when Takeru needed help. He was always there to give the wisdom that should not belong to a teenager. Now Takeru was all alone. No one had even know of him and Ken, so how could they possibly help? He was all alone.

The blonde boy raised his head and glanced over at the basketball court. For a moment, he could still picture Ken running out to go retrieve the basketball. Tears blurred his vision and he looked away, no longer able to look at the court. All the words his friends had said, "The past is behind you" - "Don't keep reliving the past" - "Say goodbye to it all, Takeru," those words failed to cheer him up, they only made him feel worse about everything. From day one, he knew he would never be able to forgive himself for being the reason he had lost his best friend, the only person he had ever truly loved.

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><p><em>Takeru stood in the middle of the basketball court, watching as the ambulance drove off, its sirens blaring into the night. All sounds were drowned out the echoes of screeching tires that still played through Takeru's head. He hadn't been able to do anything but watch… He turned around and glanced at the jungle gym.<em>

"_So do you mean that you… l-like me, like me? Or did I just throw the ball over the hoop?"_

"_Swish…"_

_The Takaishi boy hung his head and whispered through his tears, "I never go to say I love you back."_

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><p>There was supposed to be another party going on tonight, not too far from Odaiba Elementary. Most likely, there would be people who had drank too much and were going to drive home drunk. Takeru decided that if he couldn't get Ken back, then he would join him. Friends forever… right?<p>

'_Oh my angel, come down to Earth from your heaven and take me away from this place. I want to be with you once more… Help me fly,' _Takeru prayed to himself.

Takeru sniffled and wiped his eyes with his sleeve. He mumbled something along the lines of "I love you, Ken" and headed towards the direction of the party. Sure enough, several minutes later, screeching tires once again filled the night air…

**~END~**

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><p><strong>CB: Well, there you go everyone. i don't have any ideas for any more stories yet,but if i get any, i will try to post them ASAP<strong>. **Don't forget to review.**


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